BEN AND JERRY'S SPECIAL LINE OF
ISRAELI ICE CREAM FLAVORS

Rumor has it that Ben and Jerry's is about to release the following flavors of their famous ice cream in Israel:

Wailing Walnut

Moishe Mellow

Mazel Toffee

Chazalnut

Oy Ge-Malt

Mi Ka-Mocha

Bernard Malamint

Berry P'ri Hagafen

Choc-Eilat Chip

Simchas T’Oreo

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THE BACON TREE

When the American West was being settled, a group of people headed out west in a wagon train from the east coast. The trail boss was very inexperienced, and after a while the people realized that they were hopelessly lost. After wandering for weeks, their food supply was dwindling rapidly and winter was settling in.

As they came over the brow of a hill, they laid their eyes on the first person they had seen for days: a little old Jewish man, a Litvak, no less, sitting beneath a tree enjoying a glass of hot tea.

Hopeful, the trail boss approached the man.

"Howdy, old man, can you help us? We're headin' west but we're lost! Our food is gone, and we're starving!"

The old man replied, "Vell, I can see da future. Vait a minute." He held one hand to his brow, lifted the other into the air, and closed his eyes.

"Vait! I'm getting ah vision! Yah! I see! I know vat you gotta do! Go up dis hill und down da udder side. Go through da forest und cross da stream. Den go up da next hill und down to da valley. Dere you vill find ah bacon tree."

"A bacon tree?!!" exclaimed the trail boss.

"Yah! Ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nutting vud I lie to you."

The trail boss shrugged and led the train off in that direction. What did they have to lose?

They followed the old man's directions to the T. They drove their oxen up the hill, down the other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and down into the valley below.

Nothing. Not a thing - and definitely not a bacon tree!

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, they were attacked by an enormous band Indians. All in the train were massacred except for one survivor, and even he was seriously wounded. When he was able, he agonizingly retraced the train's meanderings until he came to the very tree where they had met the old man. Sure enough, right there under that same tree sat the little old man enjoying a hot glass of tea.

The injured man crawled up to him, panting, and shouted furiously. "What were you thinking! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your instructions to the letter - and NO BACON TREE! Just Indians! Thousands of them! And the rest of the party? THEY'RE ALL DEAD!"

Quite concerned, the old man held his hand to his brow as before, lifted the other into the air, and closed his eyes. "Vait! Ay-yay-yay! Oy gevalt! I made a terrible mistake! It vuzn't a bacon tree! It vuz a ham bush!"