Frum* Bank Robbers

Israel is the only country in the world where bank robbers kiss the mezuzah as they run out the door with their loot.

* Very religiously observant.

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Greetings from Groucho

I sent the club a wire stating, "Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member!"

~ Groucho Marx ~

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Understanding the Talmud

"Rabbi," the Yeshiva student said, "please explain the Talmud to me."

"Very well," said the rabbi. "First, I will ask you a question. lf two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?"

"The dirty one," answers the student.

"No. They look at each other and the dirty man thinks he is clean and the clean man thinks he is dirty. Therefore, the clean man washes himself."

"Now, another question. lf two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?"

The student smiles and says, "You just told me, Rabbi. The man who is clean washes himself because he thinks he is dirty."

"No," says the rabbi. "If they each look at themselves, the clean man knows he doesn't have to wash himself, so the dirty man washes himself."

"Now, one more question. lf two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?"

"l don't know, Rabbi. Depending on your point of view, it could be either one."

Again the rabbi says, "No. lf two men climb up a chimney, how could one man remain clean? They both are dirty, and they
both wash themselves."

The confused student said, "Rabbi, you asked me the same question three times and you gave me three different answers. Is this a joke?"

"No, my son. This is Talmud."