THE DRY CLEANERS
Jacob
needed his tallis cleaned, so he
took it to Yu Feng's, the best
dry cleaner in San Francisco.
Mr. Yu expertly examined the
tallis and told Jacob to come
back in a week. When Jacob
returned, Mr. Yu proudly
presented him with a glistening
white and immaculately pressed
tallis accompanied by a bill
for eighty-five dollars.
"Eighty-five dollars?! To clean
and press a tallis?!" Jacob was
beside himself.
"No," explained Mr. Yu calmly.
"Ten dollars to clean and press
the tallis, seventy-five dollars
to take out all the
knots!"
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THREE WISHES
A
rabbi, a cantor, and a
synagogue president were
driving to a seminar when
they were held up at
gunpoint. The kidnapper
demanded that the three hand
over their money, their
jewelry and their credit
cards. When they replied
that they didn't have them
with them, he announced that
he was going to kill them
all, but that he would
grant them each a last wish
before he would blow them
away.
"What is your last wish,
rabbi?" he demanded.
"My wish," replied the Rabbi
wistfully, "is to give a
long, deeply profound and
intricately complicated
sermon, one that I have been
longing to give for many
years, but have never had
the opportunity to deliver."
"I will grant your wish,"
the kidnapper replied.
"My last wish," volunteered
the cantor, "is to follow
the rabbi by singing a
beautiful, two-hour Yemenite
style song of my own
composition that I have been
dying to sing for years."
"Your wish will likewise be
granted."
"And what is your last
wish?" he asked the
synagogue president.
"My last wish? Please! I beg
you! Shoot me now!" |
* *
* * *
לֵב שָׂמֵחַ יֵיטִב גֵּהָה
וְרוּחַ נְכֵאָה תְּיַבֶּשׁ־גָּרֶם׃
A
merry heart doeth good like a
medicine;
but a broken spirit drieth the
bones.
(Proverbs 17:22)
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