*   *   *


*   *   *   *   *

Jacob needed his tallis cleaned, so he took it to Yu Feng's, the best dry cleaner in San Francisco. Mr. Yu expertly examined the tallis and told Jacob to come back in a week. When Jacob returned, Mr. Yu proudly presented him with a glistening white and immaculately pressed tallis accompanied by a bill for eighty-five dollars.

"Eighty-five dollars?! To clean and press a tallis?!" Jacob was beside himself.

"No," explained Mr. Yu calmly. "Ten dollars to clean and press the tallis, seventy-five dollars to take out all the knots!"


A rabbi, a cantor, and a synagogue president were driving to a seminar when they were held up at gunpoint. The kidnapper demanded that the three hand over their money, their jewelry and their credit cards. When they replied that they didn't have them with them, he announced that he was going to kill them all, but that he would grant them each a last wish before he would blow them away.

"What is your last wish, rabbi?" he demanded.

"My wish," replied the Rabbi wistfully, "is to give a long, deeply profound and intricately complicated sermon, one that I have been longing to give for many years, but have never had the opportunity to deliver."

"I will grant your wish," the kidnapper replied.

"My last wish," volunteered the cantor, "is to follow the rabbi by singing a beautiful, two-hour Yemenite style song of my own composition that I have been dying to sing for years."

"Your wish will likewise be granted."

"And what is your last wish?" he asked the synagogue president.

"My last wish? Please! I beg you! Shoot me now!"

*   *   *   *   *

לֵב שָׂמֵחַ יֵיטִב גֵּהָה וְרוּחַ נְכֵאָה תְּיַבֶּשׁ־גָּרֶם׃

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine;
but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

(Proverbs 17:22)


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