Abe's son arrives home from school
puffing and panting, sweat rolling down his
face.
"Dad, you'll be so proud of me" he
says, "I saved a dollar by running behind
the bus all the way home."
"Oy," says Abe. "You could have run
behind a taxi and saved $20!"
*
Two beggars were sitting next to
each other. One holds a sign saying, "Please
help the war veteran," and the other holds a
sign saying, "Please help a poor Jew."
People pass by, and even those who
didn't intend to give money to either of
them, give to the first beggar just to upset
the Jew.
One good man passes by and gives money
equally to both. He then says to the Jew:
"Why don't you change your sign? Don't
you know that nobody will give money to a
Jew?"
As he walks, the Jew turns to the
other beggar and says, "Chaim, he would
teach US how to do business?!"
*
A Lebanese Arab emigrated to America
sixty years ago and accumulated great
wealth. Upon his death, the rich man
stipulated in his will that his hundred
million dollar bequest was to be divided
equally among his three closest friends: a
Catholic, A Protestant and a Jew. There was
only one small provision: Each of the heirs
was required to deposit one hundred thousand
dollars in the coffin before it was lowered
into the ground to prove their good faith
while the will was in probate.
As the coffin was about to be closed for the
last time, the Catholic quickly deposited
his hundred thousand dollars into the
casket. The Protestant followed suit and
placed his hundred thousand dollars besides
the Catholic's money. The Jew reached into
the coffin, withdrew the two hundred
thousand dollars cash and replaced it with a
check for three hundred thousand dollars.
