Shapiro poured out his heart to his shrink. "Doc," he pleaded, "I'm
getting old, I'm almost out of money, and Social Security doesn't even pay
half my rent. What's going to happen to me? I'm worried sick about my
"Yes, Max, I can help you" said the shrink. "You'll need to
see me twice a week for
$100 a visit, paid up front."
"That's nice, doctor. But now that your future is assured, what about
NOT WISE AS A SERPENT
priest, a minister and a rabbi were arguing about who was best at their
job. To settle the matter, they agreed that they would each go into a
different part of the woods and see who could convert a bear.
At the end of the day they got together and compared notes.
The priest began. "I found a bear
near a lake and won his trust. I read to him from the Holy Catechism and
sprinkled him with Holy Water, and he agreed to come to Holy Mass to take his first
"That's very nice," said the minister." "I, too, found a bear, fishing in a stream.
I stood on the bank and preached
the Gospel to him, and he asked me to baptize him; so I did."
The priest and the minister then turned to the rabbi who was laying
forlornly in a gurney, mummified in a full body cast.
"What happened?" they inquired.
Taking a breath, the rabbi began. "I, too, confronted a bear,"
he explained. "But looking
back," he said philosophically, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the