OY VEY!

Four elderly Jewish ladies at a resort in the Catskills were relaxing in their rockers overlooking a lake and admiring the scenery.

After a while, the first woman sighed, "Oy!" The others sighed sympathetically.

Then the second woman sighed, "Oy vey!" The others nodded.

A third woman added, "Oy, Gottenyu!" The others nodded as if in agreement.

Finally, the fourth woman said, "Enough talk about the children! Let's go for a walk."
 

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PLAYING THE RIGHT PART
 

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he has been given a part in the school play.

"Wonderful!" kvells the mother, "What part is it?"

The boy replies, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."

The mother scowls and says, "You go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part!!"

*    *    *
PAPA'S DYING WISH

The dutiful Jewish son is sitting at his dying father's bedside.

"Mendel."

"Yes, Papa."

"Mendel! That smell! Is mama making my favorite apple strudel?"

"Yes, Papa."

"Ah! If I could have just one more piece of Mama's apple strudel! Would you get me a piece?"

"Sure, Papa." Mendel leaves, and returns.

"Is that you, Mendel?"

"Yes, Papa."

"Did you bring me the strudel?"

"No. Papa."

"Why not, son? It's my dying wish!"

"I'm sorry, Papa, but Mama said it's for after the funeral."