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My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times,
men would not stop to ask for directions.
- Elayne Boosler

On Being a Success in Business.....

Just remember this rule of business:
DBTY - Dress British, Think Yiddish.


I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up.
They have no holidays.
- Henny Youngman

One Friday night I was in the synagogue and the Rabbi was giving his usual sermon. At the end of his speech, he told the congregation, "Before we continue, I would like to inform you that our synagogue has decided to collect goods for the most needy people in our area. It's for a good cause and we need your help. Please bring us this Sunday anything you have lying around your house that you can spare or have no great need for. For example, I'm sure that you can all think of something that you have excess of."

Behind me I heard the voice of an old lady saying to her neighbor seated next to her, "Yes, Tsuris*."


Visitor: Rabbi, how many active members do you have?

Rabbi: They are ALL active. Some work with me and the others work against me!


Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?

A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married,
and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.